BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG

SHE CAME INTO THE BAKERY TODAY!!

But more on that later! Hotaru left, back to Iceland, to get ready for school and see her sweetheart Jacoby. Ooh la la! He better not kiss her, or he's got another thing coming!

I don't own any firearms, but I always got THE GUNS!

You couldn't see me right there, but I flexed my arms.

(I have really skinny arms.)

So it was real sad when Hotaru had to leave and blah blah blaSHE CAME TO THE BAKERY TODAY!

NOT HOTARU!

RAMONA!

THIS GIRL I HAVE THE TOTAL WACKO HOTS FOR!!!

Stuart and I were throwing a tennis around. I'm no good at that, but neither is Stuart. We kept knocking things over and dropping the ball. FUMBLLLLE! Or whatever they say in tennis.

Stuart was still razzing me about Ramona. "So, Kojiro, is your little chipparoo coming in today? Your sweet chicklet?"

"Get a life, STUART!" I told him, and then I threw our tennis ball into the trash. That should show him, even though it was MY TENNIS BALL!!

YEAH STICK IT TO EM KOJIRO!

So anyways, the night after Hotaru left I was talking to Enid and Enid was all "Blah blah blah, if you want to ask a girl out, just be yourself and be really nice because girls like that and it wouldn't hurt to COMB YOUR HAIR AND WEAR A CLEAN SHIRT!"

So I've been combing my hair and wearing the same clean shirt EVERY DAY because it's my best shirt. I've been washing it every night, DO NOT WORRY! I am clean!

I asked Chuck because I thought he asked Enid out, but it turns out she asked him out! I asked him if it helped if I was in a band. He told me it might. I asked if I could join his band and he told me no.

The reason Stuart was razzing me was because I asked him what I should do and he said "Give her a kiss on the cheek, Kojiro! That's what you want to do, isn't it?"

I PUT HIM IN A HEADLOCK AND MADE HIM SAY HE WAS SORRY!!

But I'm not so good at headlocks and he got away and ran off to the back of the bakery and that's where he found the tennis ball in my locker and we decided to throw it around.

YES I HAVE A LOCKER AT WORK!

JUST LIKE A COP!

Which leads me to my next point! Can I ask a girl out while I'm on duty here at the bakery? I saw an episode of The Shield where that one guy told that one girl he couldn't ask her out on a date while he was on duty. Mr. Valenzetti isn't in, so I decided to do it! Nobody would ever know, except Stuart...

AND STUART CAN BE SILENCED!!

I'm just kidding! Stuart is the best.

Anyways, SHE CAME INTO THE BAKERY

I REALIZE I HAVE ALREADY SAID THAT

TWICE

THREE TIMES IF YOU COUNT THE ONE I JUST DID!

She came into the bakerkajleljk I AM IN A LOOP!

She came into the bakery and then Stuart made kissie faces at me and ran off to the back! It was the moment of truth. She was wearing a black t-shirt that said "ROLLING STONE" on it and jeans that looked like boys' jeans. Her hair was pulled up and she had a DO-RAG on like a BIKER!

Okay, Kojiro! This is it!

Clean shirt?

CHECK!

Combed hair?

CHECK!

Fingers numb?

CHECK!

All systems go!

LETS DO THIS

"Good afternoon, Kojiro." Her voice made me all dizzy like the time I left the gas on in the oven. I leaned back onto the wall behind the counter, trying to play it cool.

NO!

I DO NOT PLAY IT COOL!

Enid told me to be myself! And if myself is a person who faints when he's about to ask a pretty girl out, THEN I WILL FAINT!

I fainted.

JUST FOR A SECOND

I was still standing when I opened my eyes. I was dizzy.

"Good afternoon, R-r-r-r-r-rrrr.." I sounded like a car trying to start! What's this!? Stuttering!! IN THIS IMPORTANT TIME AND PLACE!? Get ahold of yourself, Kojiro! I clear my throat...

"Goodafternoonramonahowareyou?" ALL IN ONE WORD!? You're losing it, pal!!

"I'm good. Say, you don't have any of those smiley face cookies I saw you working on that one day, do you?"

THE COOKIES!

OH GOLLY SHE REMEMBERED THE COOKIES!

"Those! Those, I uh, was, uh, working on, uh, for a, uh big uh, proposal to uh, Mr. Valen-uh-zetti, uh. He said, uh, he said they were not to be sold here, uh, because, uh, they were, uh, for kids."

UH!?

HOW MANY TIMES DID IS SAY UH THERE!?

ABORT MISSION!

"But I can make you some."

I SAID ABORT MISSION YOU DOPE!

THIS IS GETTING YOU IN DEEPER!!

"If you just want to wait a minute."

Wait... I'm not stuttering or saying Uh like a big dumb donkey!

Do donkeys say that? A good question. I'll check Wikipedia...

No, they don't.

Anyways, I'm suddenly playing it cool. It's because... because... I AM DOING WHAT I KNOW BEST!!

BAKING!!

"Yeah, that'd be great," She says. "I'm going to my kid brother's birthday party tonight and I figured I should bring something."

"Sure. Hang on."

I went back into the back where we kept the trays of cookies and I started putting faces on them with yellow and black icing. Stuart caught my eye and gave me a double thumbs up! He's not razzing me! He's supporting me! This is going to be AWESOME!

I AM UNSTOPPABLE!

LIKE CAPTAIN AMERICA!

Except Captain America died and the Punisher took over for him...

Hm.

I AM UNSTOPPABLE!

LIKE THE INCREDIBLE HULK!

He just got back from SPACE!

But Hulk wouldn't be very cool to go on a date with...

Gosh...

I AM UNSTOPPABLE!

LIKE THE PUNISHER!!

No. He kills people.

This is too hard...

I AM UNSTOPPABLE!!

LIKE SPIDER-MAN?

Yes! That works! Get rid of that question mark!! IT WORKS!

I come out with the tray of smiling cookies. I take her money and I ask her... I ask her... I ASK HER!!!

"Hey. You have a kid brother?"

"Yeah, I do. His name is Damien."

"Damien! Like the kid from that movie!"

"Yeah. And he's just about as evil."

She laughs. I can only hope she's kidding.

"Say, what time is the party, Ramona?"

"It's at five."

"You wouldn't mind if I, uh... tagged along, would you?"

She was quiet a second. Her eyes went kinda wide and she... she... SHE BLUSHED! HO HO HO!

I WAS BLUSHING TOO!

DOES SHE HAVE THE TOTAL HOTS FOR ME!?

"I, uh, I think that'd be nice..."

Keep cool, you're almost there.

"Then maybe after the party we could go get something to eat."

"Why-I-Uh-Sure! Sure!"

"Wow! All right! Hey! Should I pick you up?"

She asked me for a piece of paper and gave me her address.

As soon as she was gone, I fainted dead away on the floor.

I woke up to Stewart slapping me in the face, "Get it together, Kojiro!" he told me. "You just asked Ramona out on a date!"

"I did?"

"You did."

"I DID!"

The rest of the day I was WALKING ON AAAAIR.

And now in a little bit I - WOAH HEY!

HEY!

ITS 4:39!

HOLY SMOKES IM GONNA BE LATE BYE