First Post!

I was pushed into starting my own blog, not only by my little sister, but also by my friend Samuel K.

Sam said to me, he said, "Kojiro, we've been friends for years, and everyone thinks I made you up because you never freaking do anything! Come on, start a blog so everybody will get off my back and stop calling me crazy!"

Sam's really weird and kind of fat and he makes drawings of me all the time. He also makes movies that I really like. I helped him write one of them, but I don't remember which one.

So here it is. A weblog.

My name is Kojiro Hideo Tanaka. I was born to Masaru Tanaka and Katrin Magnusson in Reykjavik, Iceland.

I'm 22 years old. My favorite foods are bread, hot dogs, and hot dogs buns, but only when there are hot dogs in them. I put mustards on my hot dogs. Different kinds of mustards. Spicy mustard, Dijon mustard, honey mustard.

Somtimes saurkraut, too! Can you believe it?

I live in Tulips, Ohio, which is a tiny, TINY little place. We don't even have a mall. The closest we have is a Wal Mart, and it's not even a Super Wal-Mart! The mayor of the town is also the sheriff and I think he's a mail man, too. I don't know his name, but I met him once at the 4th of July parade. He was dressed as Uncle Sam and had on a fake beard.

The beard was kind of dirty.

I live with my friends Enid and Chuck. They're in love.

Kissy-kissy love.

One time, I caught them making out on the couch and I was about fit to bust I was laughing so hard at them! They got really mad and threw the couch pillows at me, but I just kept on laughing!

Chuck and Enid sitting in a tree! You know what I mean.

Chuck is in a band called Lobstar. He's really good at playing the Fender Stratocaster, which is a kind of guitar. He has a red one, and I think that means it sounds better than a black one. Sometimes he makes me read his poetry and rock and roll song lyrics and I don't really get them. Most of his songs are about love or about Enid. It sounds good, though, when he sings the words and plays on his guitar.

Enid is some kind of hippie. She was in the PEACE CORPS but they kicked her out because she was colorblind or had asthma or something. She made me volunteer to deliver food to poor people last Thanksgiving. An old lady with like 40 cats gave us gingerbread man cookies. They didn't have any icing on them because she's poor, I guess. I think she was crazy. Enid only ate one, but I ate like 15 of them. They were really good.

I have a job at a bakery, which is where I met my best friend. His Stuart Lewis. Stuart looks way older than me, but he's not. He has long curly hair. Stuart teases me because I have a crush on this girl that comes into the bakery all the time.

"Is she your chippy, Kojiro? Your lovely little chip chip?"

"Shut up, Stuart!" I told him. "Shut up!"

Stuart is Canadian, I think.

So I guess that's it! Hey, what do you know! I have a blog now! Let's get it done! Isn't that what those bumper stickers say?

GET IT DONE